MADELAINE FORTESQUE FOTHERING -A humorous offering

Madelaine Fortesque Fothering
Entered the room without bothering,
To knock or to wait,
‘Sorry I’m late
It’s because of the case that we’re covering.’
Her boss raised his head, crossed his fingers and said,
‘Sit down and tell me quite plain.
Did you catch him this time? Or did he just climb
Out the passenger door yet again.’
‘Inspector Sir! That’s highly unfair,
It wasn’t my fault that he legged it.
The door came unstuck, when our car hit a truck,
Besides no-one had told me to shut it.’
For a moment her boss seemed to be at a loss,
His body was glued to the spot.
But he grimaced and moaned and, later on, groaned,
‘Well? have you a suspect or not?’
Madelaine raised her hand, ‘Sir please understand,
While my methods are somewhat obscure,
I have the right crim – It’s definitely him.     
And I’ll give you the details - what’s more!’
Said Madelaine with pride,‘He’s waiting outside.
I nailed both his feet to the floor.
Right next to the spot where you fired that shot,
That blew away most of the door.’
Sir! This lead is the clue and it’s staring at you,
And if you’ll just give me a minute,
I’ll tell you a story quite short and quite gory,
To show that I know how he did it.’
Mad walked with some speed and grabbing the lead,
Held it close up to her boss’s nose.
‘Now if you look there you’ll see some grey hairs,
That came from the head of Bill Rose.
The crim he did kill poor defenceless, blind Bill
And also his pet dog as well.
When I reached the scene Bill couldn’t be seen,
But I knew he was there – from the smell.
I went to the bog and saw Ruffles, the dog,
All squishy and bloated and dead.
Then this guy came by, and looked up at the sky
“Take his lead he won’t need it he said.”
I knew that the lead was all I would need,
To prove that this man was the perp.
And when I suggested that he was arrested -
He came along with me – the twerp!’
‘Why Madelaine PC ‘her boss said with glee
You’ve been most successful this time
Said Madelaine PC, ‘I’m so glad you can see
That I’m pretty familiar with crime.
Could I have a big desk Oh, and one more request
A Detective I’d much rather be.
‘Cos Fothering Detective
Would be much more effective
Than Fortesque Fothering PC!’
Maybe in time when you’ve solved some more crimes
Your request will be granted PC
But until that day I just have to say
Please do not give the prisoner a key!
These days Mad she fights from Olympian heights,
All manner of crime and misdeeds.
She works from a room that houses a broom
And a million grotty dog leads.
She spends most of her days
Trying to figure out ways
To rid her city of crime,
While those in the know usually go
And do it in half of the time!
Madelaine Fortesque Fothering,
Enters her room without bothering,
To knock or to wait,
‘Cos she’s usually quite late
Because of a case that she’s covering!